Gir's day at school
by Air Condition
Summary: The humans have infected Zim with their filthy germs, but he knows that if he misses a day at school, Dib might send a doctor to check on him. In an attempt to avoid discovery, he decides to send Gir to school in his place. What was he thinking?


It was a rather cold and windy Friday morning, though things seemed to be continuing as they would any other day. The sun was just creeping into the sky, though nobody really noticed since it was blocked out by a blanket of gray clouds. Rain did not fall from the heavens, though the clouds looked as though they would dump gallons of water down onto the earth at any moment. Alarm clocks went off, answered by the groans of sleepy people. Parents made breakfast while kids thought about upcoming tests and homework assignments that they never finished.

However, there was one household that was off schedule, and had almost no hope of catching up. The house was small and green, with a purple roof and door. It was the secret base of the Irken Invader Zim.

First, it was a sneeze that echoed through the lab. Then, a cough that turned into a desperate gasp for air.

"Gir!"

It only took a few seconds for the little SIR unit to fly out of the elevator, and land at Zim's feet.

"Yes, master?"

"Gir, the _germs_!" Zim yelled, pointing at one of the many computer screens. "The filthy humans have infected me with their germs! I can feel them… trying to _destroy_ me…"

"Aw… Do you need a hug?" Gir asked, shoving a rubber pig in Zim's face.

"No, Gir." He replied, shoving the pig away. "I need to research this _disease_ and try to get it out of my body! What time is it…? Seven thi- _seven thirty?_ It's Friday. If I'm not in school, Dib will send one of those… _doctors_ to check on me… "

Suddenly, Dib's voice echoed in Zim's ears.

"_You know Zim, when the nurse examines you, she'll notice you don't have human organs. Then it's just a short step from a hospital and from there to an alien autopsy table…"_

"_NEVER!" _Zim screamed.

Gir's rubber pig squeaked as he forced the air from its hollow belly.

"If I go to school with these… _germs_… they might spread and build up an army… I need to fight them _now._"

_Squeak!_

"But, I need to go to school… How?"

_Squeak!_

Zim glared at Gir, the squeaking noise beginning to get on his nerves. Suddenly, he had a not-so-brilliant idea.

"Gir! I need you to listen to me very, very carefully."

_Squeak!_

"Gir!"

Gir looked up at Zim before making the pig squeak again. Zim snatched the pig from Gir's hands, and threw it across the room.

"_GIR!_"

"Yes, my master!" Gir said, his eyes turning red.

"I need you to go to school in my place, so that Dib won't be suspicious of my whereabouts."

"Okey-dokey!" Gir giggled, his eyes returning to their normal color. He turned around and walked toward the elevator.

"You can't go out like that, Gir. You to disguise yourself and blend in with the humans." Zim reminded him.

"Oh, yeah." Gir said before pulling his dog costume out of one of the storage areas in the lab.

"No, Gir. You're going to school in _my_ place; you need to wear _my_ disguise." Zim said, his fingers gliding over the computer controls. "Now stay still."

Large robotic arms shot down from the ceiling and forced Gir into Zim's costume. They returned to their normal positions when they were done.

"Hm… You're still too silver to pass yourself off as me." Zim observed. "Computer! Make Gir… green."

Another robotic arm came down and covered Gir in a sticky, green liquid. It dried quickly, and Zim picked at it until it was smooth.

"_I'm a genius! _Now put this camera in your wig… and put this hearing device in your head… " Zim muttered, placing the objects where he wanted them. He walked back to the computer and picked up what looked like a walkie-talkie. "Gir… Can you hear me?"

"Yep!" Gir yelled, waving to Zim.

Zim pushed a few more buttons on the computer controls until the screen changed. It was now a live feed from the camera hidden in Gir's wig.

"Good… I think we're all ready to go… Not even Dib will be able to tell that you're not actually me. Now you need to get to school… it's already… _Eight thirteen?_ You're late… Oh well… Just get to the school and come up with a good excuse for your… late-ness."

"Okay. Bye!" Gir yelled, running back into the elevator.

"Ms. Bitters?" Dib asked, holding his hand high in the air.

"What?"

"Zim isn't here. Maybe we should send someone to go check on him."

Unfortunately for Dib, Gir happened to walk into the room no more than five seconds later.

"Zim. You're late." Ms. Bitters informed him.

"I was playing with my piggy." Gir replied, holding the pig up to her face.

"Get to your seat and be quiet."

Gir ran to the empty desk and sat down, admiring the pig that he was holding under the desk.

"Zim! You were late… What were you up to?" Dib asked, practically crawling over his neighbor's desk.

"Hi!" Gir yelled, spastically waving at Dib.

* * *

A/N: This _was_ a request, and I usually only do request one-shots, but I decided to turn this into a two or three-shot.

If you have any requests, feel free to PM me.

Anyway, the next one or two chapters will be about Gir's day at school.


End file.
